An Unexpected Journey

IBC SURVIVOR – MY STORY

That Stupid Question I Can’t Stop Asking Myself January 7, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — prettygirllost @ 11:33 PM
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Do other cancer survivors ever stop wondering if every little illness is some form of cancer? I’ve had some stomach problems and slept in the recliner last night hoping for the cramps to stop. First thing I think is….could it be some type of cancer? Geez Louise. Why do I ask that stupid question?  Then I allow myself to go down the path of imagining who will take care of my son and so on. Don’t go there. It’s not a happy place.

I eat careful today and only have a few cramps.  What a relief.   So, maybe it wasn’t really blood. Maybe it was just paranoid thinking. Yes. It was all in my head. I hope.

You would have laughed at me yesterday morning. I was going back and forth taking some things to the car when I tripped on the porch. It was like slow motion with my arms sprawling out to try to stop my fall just as a car was driving by. I know they must have burst out laughing. It was funny.  So, I try to hurry and get up and pretend I didn’t fall. You know you do it too. I have to stand still a minute for my knees to stop throbbing to walk. I place one hand on the house and the other on my hip. Guess I was trying to act nonchalant. It was just me and the cat by then. She just looks at me like she’s bored when I ask her if she thought I looked funny.

At least I’ve enjoyed reading some books in the recliner.  I love having a Kindle. The only problem is trying to decide which book to buy. I recently used an Amazon gift certificate for two books “The Girl with the Dragoon Tattoo” and “The Help.” I don’t regret reading either, but I must say the first one was a little weird. No, I strike that. It was very weird. I found out more than I needed to know about sadism.  Yep.  I had to finish reading it to figure out the answer to the mystery.  Plus, it was like driving by an accident (or a person falling ha ha) where you can’t help but look.

Now, what book to buy next.  Any suggestions?

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2 Responses to “That Stupid Question I Can’t Stop Asking Myself”

  1. angief1967 Says:

    The Vow is good….It’s the only book I’ve read in years. LOL


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