An Unexpected Journey

IBC SURVIVOR – MY STORY

Out of the Mouth of Babes June 8, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — prettygirllost @ 2:54 PM
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I was checking out someone’s blog today and it got me thinking about my son and how we handled the cancer issue.  He was 8 years old when I had to start explaining what was happening to mommy.

Let me tell you the most important part of this story first.  Each year before my son starts school, I pray from him to have the teacher that is best for him.  I don’t say please let him  be in Ms/Mr.  so and so’s class, because God knows what is best.  Proof of this is my son’s teacher that year….a breast cancer survivor.  I wasn’t diagnosed until January, so there was no way for me to know that he would benefit from being in her class.  I told her of the diagnosis and she was always watching for those times to express positive support.  Later she told me she had an opportunity to tell him during those months that she had cancer too and is still here.  He smiled at her comforting thought.  What a blessing indeed!

Children don’t always express their feelings, as is with mine.  He rarely tells me what he is thinking.  I have to begin somewhere, so I start telling him about “bad” cells and “good” cells and that I will be taking a medicine so that it can get rid of the bad cells.  I try not to use the word cancer at our first conversation.  I also encourage him to ask any questions.

Our second talk involves the effects of the medicine (chemo).  It will make my hair fall out, but it will grow back.  I may feel tired for a while, but it will not last forever.  I tell him how helpful it will be to have him here with me.  Than I ask for questions.  He surprises with a few questions that I never thought of,  like the one I mentioned in another post asking what my hair color will be when it grows back in.

At different times during my treatment I ask if he has any questions.  I encourage him to talk to me if he feels scared about anything.  Hopefully I am covering as many bases as I can to be there for him.

That fall, we’re on the way home and a random comment comes out…”Sugar causes cancer.”  I ask where he heard it and he tells me he read it in a book about cancer at school.  I have to hide the fact that I am upset that an elementary school would have such a book.  A few days later I go to the library and ask to see the book.  They can’t find it.  hmm?  When my son’s class comes in to the book fair I ask him to show me the book.  Fear in his eyes, he admits there was no book and that a kid at school told him.  This was the first blatant lie I have EVER caught him in.

So now I see I needed to address the direct “cancer” issue.  With regret , I see I left him unprepared for classmates comments.  I also explain that God doesn’t like lies and that I can’t help him as best I can if he lies.  Lies damage our trust in each other too.  Along with that comes my explanation that 8 year olds aren’t a good source of medical advice and to always ask me for answers.

Now that it is years later he admits that during that time he was often scared when I was “sick.”  All we can do is pray, educate our children as best as we can, be available to them and make adults intrusted with their care aware of the situation.   Then let God be at work in their lives.

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5 Responses to “Out of the Mouth of Babes”

  1. I pray for my son everyday too. It’s such a godsend that your son’s teacher is a survivor 🙂 My own son reported that his schoolmate is back in school after treatment from bone cancer. I felt like crying for joy over his schoolmate’s victory. Thank you for visiting my site earlier. I agree with you, “Let God be at work in their lives.” Amen and amen to that! ❤

  2. Mr.Hat Says:

    Hi, well I entered to your blog :D, you are a cancer survivor, my best lady friend she had skin cancer and she survived too, I was reading your post, I think is interesting that a child of 8 years old is mature enough to understand it and investigate about this sickness, when my friend got cancer I was 14, it was complicated to me to understand it so I blamed god about it, but is great you teach your son about your sickness and that god and you are there for him, he is very lucky of having such an amazing mother :D, good luck and read you soon.

    • Hi Mr.Hat! Welcome to my blog! Glad to hear from you.

      Sorry had to deal with your friends cancer at 14. I wouldn’t have been mature enough to understand it then. Shoot, I have trouble with it now. ha ha And my son, he just does the best he can with it. I don’t press. Thanks for the compliment. I may not be the best mom in the world, but I do try to be there for him. He’s a great comfort to me too.

      I have my moments in understanding things too, like when a 10 year old year dies from cancer. But I know that satan is the one who walks about like a roaring lion looking for whom he may devour. (IPeter 5:8) He doesn’t want us to know who we are in Christ.

      Glad to see you are still hanging in there! 🙂 Booyah! (My son and I do booyah’s when we’re happy about something. ha ha) How’s the apartment search going? Working on any new artwork?

      Hope to hear from you soon. God bless and remember…there ARE people who care.

  3. Mr.Hat Says:

    Well the apartment my mother said she found something to buy it, but I’m not sure, 4 times telling you “I found one” and later “they told me no” is just disappointing , I know the bible, I’m a 16 years theologist in the Christian church, I’m one of the firsts teenagers in graduate form the ministerial school :D, is curious Peter is Pedro in the spanish version.
    I’m working in a Collection of “Smoker Stephanies”, I’ll draw some of the Stephannies that I know, smoking :D, just for fun.
    Your son most be very smart to understand everything at his age 😀


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