I had a great day yesterday, although nothing spectacular happened. It would seem like a boring day to some people, but to me it was wonderful. I enjoyed the beautiful sunny day as I went for a walk. Yay, I am back on my walking routine. After taking care of errands, I picked up my son from camp and we enjoyed the evening at home. I even played piano for a little while and didn’t struggle with it as I normally do. I felt good mentally and physically. Ahhhhhh….peace. Wish this day could last forever.
No such luck today. I got a call back to reality. And I mean that literally as well as figuratively. My radiation doctor, Dr. “Sunshine”(ha ha), had his secretary call me because he scheduled me for another visit to the lung specialist (pulmonologist/thoracic surgeon) whatever it’s called. I told her I didn’t need it. Of course I didn’t tell her that for some reason Doc Sunshine seems intent on my having surgery of some sort. Even at our first meeting to discuss radiation he wanted to schedule me for a hysterectomy while he was out-of-town. He said it to me like you would talk about sending a child to play at a friend’s house while you’re gone to the store. No thank you. (My medical oncologist said I didn’t have to have the surgery at this time.)
To give you a little background on why I went to the specialist in the first place. A CT scan 3 months ago showed 2 very small nodules on my right lung. (Go figure, my mastectomy and radiation was on the left side.) I searched the internet about lung nodules and from what I can tell, most people have them and don’t even know they are there. It doesn’t mean it is cancerous. So anyway, I am sent to see the lung doc and he tells me that even if he went in to look he wouldn’t be able to see them because they are so small. He recommends a followup scan in 3 months and no need to see him again unless the scan shows changes.
Well the followup scan, according to what the nurse told me, is stable. That means no change. But here is Doc Sunshine still trying to get the surgeon to go in. Is he trying to figure out why I am doing so well after being diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer? He’s the only doctor I have ever had that seems like he WANTS to find something. It’s similar to someone wanting to say “I told you so!” Strange. And I went from having a gynecologist that didn’t care enough to call me when my mammogram showed cancer (3 tumors!) to a doctor that keeps trying to send me to surgery when the surgeon says no need.
I know, you’re probably thinking I’m being too hard on Doc Sunshine, but seriously. This is the doctor whom I overheard saying to another patient in a belittling tone “You don’t really like the idea of radiation, do you?” Good grief! Who likes the idea of radiation?
Anyway, I was whisked back into the world of survivor. It would have been better if it waited till my visit to the medical oncologist in a couple of weeks. But at least I am alive and well. I know it is by the grace of God that I’m here. I’m blessed. I guess I should look at these occurences as another way to show God’s goodness to Doc Sunshine. I hope I’ll be showing up for appointments at age 80 and Doc Sunshine will still be baffled at my good reports. Doc, my hope isn’t in medicine…it’s in a much higher place.