Retro Post #6 (see 5/10/11 to start at beginning)
My husband and I are sitting in a patient room at the oncologist’s office like two kids in trouble at a principal’s office. What will she say? Will she be nice? How will I handle this? I begin to fidget to distract my thoughts from going into full panic.
Doctor H is a beautiful lady who is a few years younger than me. Thankfully she is nice and very personable. As she talks about breast cancer, she draws some simple illustrations to help up better understand things. I miss some of her explanations as my brain stops to digest what she already said. It’s like hitting mute on the tv. I see her talking but don’t hear her. After she finishes teaching she asks if we have questions. I know I have them but they are not available for access when my brain is numb. Doctor H can tell we are overloaded and asks me to bring a list of questions on our next visit. We will see her before the first chemotherapy treatment next week. Me…chemo….they are not meant to be together.
Off I go to get more tests….bone scan, blood work, echocardiogram, chest x-ray. Believe it or not, concentrating on these tasks actually helps keep me calm. After a few of my tests, my husband and I get on an elevator to go to the second floor. The silence is broken as I begin laughing out loud. (Don’t worry, we are the only ones in the elevator.) I tell him that I feel like everyone in the city has seen my chest today. Who’s next? He laughs with me. It feels so good to release some tension.
I am relieved to get into bed after today’s doctor appointment, tests and the 2 hour drive back home. I put all thoughts out of my head, except for those relating to sleep. Everyone has different ways of keeping sane. I guess avoidance and laughter are mine. Nighty night.
- Today’s Tip: It’s okay to laugh even in such serious times of your life. Your body needs a break from the stress it’s going through.