Retro Post #4 (to follow the entire journey, start at 5/10/11)
It has been two days since my 40th birthday and about two hours since my painful mammogram. The nurse from my doctor’s office calls me. She needs to make an appointment for me with a surgeon. “Who’s your surgeon?” she asks. The only time I have been in the hospital since I was 5, was when I gave birth to my son. I don’t have a surgeon! Why do I need a surgeon?!? She has to tip toe around the issue. I guess they aren’t allowed to actually tell me over the phone. In my personal opinion, this should NEVER be done over the phone. It makes room for much confusion and fear. I’m sitting at work in a panic fighting back tears. I ask the Lord to show me what to do.
At home that night I am still seeking God’s guidance on this new appointment. I just don’t feel right about the surgeon they set me up with. Then it came to me, my sister-law-in goes to a breast care center in a nearby city. She has mentioned on a couple of occasions how much she likes their care. I get the number from her and call them the next day. They are fantastic! Doctor X who has never met me before, calls “me”. They fit me in the next day for a biopsy and MRI. Of course I am worried, but God has given me a peace about going to this breast care center. Thank you Jesus!
Now I’m off to get copies of my mammogram films and report to take with me to see Dr. X. They hand me the report. I sit down to read it while I wait for my films. It was like time stood still. There on the same page with my name on it was the word carcinoma. Seeing it in writing was like reading a death sentence. I work hard to maintain composure and pretend I’m okay. I get my films, hurry to the car and sob. It happens this way sometimes. You think you are doing fine until an event takes you off guard. But I’ve learned…when emotions build, you have to let it out somehow.
- Today’s Tip – Ask God to guide you through. I promise, He does give you peace beyond understanding.