Retro Entry #2 (follow my entire journey, start at 5/10/2011)
“Now, why was I so anxious for this doctor appointment to get here, again?” I asked myself as I shivered in the ugly, thin patient gown. Oh yeah, I want my gynecologist to tell me what is wrong with my chest. Wouldn’t you know that today of all days, it looks more normal than it has in weeks. But hey, he’s an expert at this stuff and will know if there is anything wrong. Just relax girl. The mystery will soon be over.
After the exam I asked my doctor if everything looks okay. He says yes…no lumps. I am embarrassed when talking about my body. What do I say? How do I tell him it previously had an odd shape and was inverted? (IBC has picture examples of these signs, not of me of course. http://www.ibcresearch.org/pictures/ibc-visual-clinical-symptoms/ ) Say something! “But the left one looks different from before”, I finally muttered. There, I voiced a concern. Yeah me! And in hindsight, I know “different from before” is a red flag phrase for doctors. He seemed more concerned about leaving as he begins some spiel about breasts not looking exactly alike and how they change as we get older. “Are you kidding me?” I wanted to ask. I am well aware gravity has started making “the girls” go south. Thankfully he could see I didn’t buy it. He conceded to order a mammogram since I’m almost 40. It’s a move to pacify a paranoid patient. Regrettably, I didn’t ask questions. And my doctor didn’t ask me to describe what was different or ask specific questions. Most importantly, he didn’t believe me.
As I get dressed, I wished I had never mentioned it. My concern has been replaced with …shame, hurt. I don’t know. My feet carry me out quickly so I can attempt to escape the strange feeling.
- Today’s Tip – Find a doctor who actively listens to you and ask questions until all your medical questions are answered. Don’t remain silent!